Superior Quality
by seh28
Summary: It's Jessica's birthday and Harvey is the only one who remembers. Oh, and there might be some history there. Please review if you can.


Jessica Pearson never discussed things like birthdays. Actually that wasn't true. She made it a point to remember other people's birthdays but never gave much thought or dare mention her own.

It just wasn't important.

A couple of years ago, she had even forgotten it. Naturally she looked at her calender and was swiftly slapped in the face with another year added to her age. Aging was something she didn't want to think about or participate in. It was a constant reminder that she was climbing the rungs on a ladder, getting closer and closer to... to what? Retirement? Death? Her career was all she had. She wasn't married, didn't have any children. She silently accepted that she may never actually leave her job. Her career was everything. She didn't have anything else.

As she swiftly breezed into her office and closed the door she took a deep breath, her eyes taking in the way the natural light illuminated her belongings with such familiarity. She glanced over at her desk and saw something that hadn't been there when she left the night before. And she had left late.

A box, a little bit bigger than a deck of cards in size, wrapped with a white ribbon.

She stared at it for a few moments, almost as if it was going to leap out at her, demanding she open it and extract its contents.

Had someone actually remembered? She wondered but then quickly abolished the idea. It was probably from some client that had been satisfied by the firm's ability to win a specific case. She doubted it was anything special, or meant for her to have specifically on her birthday.

There was no card attached to the outside. She suddenly felt certain it wasn't a birthday gift.

* * *

><p>Harvey strolled through the halls of the Pearson Hardman building. He was on his way to see Jessica after conveniently sending Mike on a mission to obtain information about a specific client. He would undoubtedly be buried in paperwork for the duration of the day and even though Harvey had a myriad of other things to deal with he needed to talk to her first.<p>

Besides, usually it was only a few short moments in her office until she had appeased herself with the level of reprehension she had doled out to him so he figured he probably wouldn't be in there that long. He wouldn't be surprised if he had recently displeased someone with his tactics because he regularly did. How he managed to do both that and win at an alarming rate puzzled most people.

And she was always there to keep him in line. Or attempt to.

As he reached for the door handle to her office, he saw through the glass her gazing down at something with precise concentration from where she sat in her chair. Upon entering he saw a chessboard on the coffee table in front of her, she was so wrapped up in staring at it she barely even heard him come in.

"Chess?" Harvey questioned directly, his voice bellowing through her office. "I've always known you to be more of a poker player."

"It's good for focus and mental clarity." Jessica responded loosely, looking up at him.

"Does it fulfill that criteria when you play by yourself?" Harvey ventured sarcastically.

"No more than playing poker by yourself does," Jessica replied, her voice even. "But then again that would make it solitaire."

"Touche." His eyebrows raised and the slight beginnings of that infamous grin played on his mouth.

"It's interesting how important the hierarchical system is in chess, no?" Jessica pondered aloud as she looked back at the board. All the pieces were untouched and in their beginning positions. "Certain pieces are restricted to specific movements, some are vastly more important and capable than others."

"Is that some subliminal message meant to accompany a line about roles and responsibilities in the firm? Because if it is, Louis is like a pawn and you know they always drop first."

Jessica's eyes looked up at him. His words were so categorically in line with his disposition, if she had been in a better mood she might have laughed, she definitely would have smiled. Sometimes he was full of snark for no reason. Her mouth set in a line as she lightly shook her head, more so in a gesture of impatience, less as an answer to his flippant question.

"What do you need, Harvey?" She wondered aloud, surveying his demeanor. He thought he was being funny. She folded her arms and her back straightened just barely.

"What do I..." He trailed off, repeating her question. He looked puzzled by its intention.

"I didn't summon you." Jessica replied half serious. Sometimes he came to her just to pat himself on the back or at those random times when he subconsciously needed validation or her opinion on something. But truthfully the latter was becoming increasingly infrequent.

She felt he was needing her less and less. Or maybe that was just in her mind. "Did you find yourself void of my good judgment so you came in search of it?"

"Hm, perhaps." Harvey quipped back.

"Good news about the Thompson Billards case?" Jessica ventured.

"The details of that are being handled as we speak." He assured her, dismissing the topic.

"I don't doubt it."

Harvey approached and took a seat opposite her and in front of the table, his fingers nimbly unfastening the button on his suit jacket. He studied the chess board briefly as she studied him. He suddenly reached toward the table and moved one of the pieces, his silver cuff link peeking out from the end of his sleeve.

"Your move." Harvey stated nonchalantly as he looked back up at her.

That almost did make her smile. Only he would attempt to actually play chess with her in the middle of the work day in the middle of her office. It was just like Harvey to do whatever he wanted.

"Harvey, I'm not gon-" Jessica started.

"Tell me about the intricacies of the hierarchical system." He cut her off.

He rarely did that. One thing about him was that he always listened to what she had to say, it was the whole following directions part that he had problems with sometimes.

"Harvey, you know how to play chess." She asserted briskly, her eyes scanning him. She was still trying to figure out what he was doing.

"Yeah, you're probably right." Harvey acquiesced.

"Probably has nothing to do with it." She replied simply.

She paused for a moment letting the space between them settle as their eye contact held. She had a strange feeling that he was going to reveal something personal. She didn't know where that inclination stemmed from but she felt it prodding her instinct.

"Are you alright?" Harvey asked seriously, suddenly all the jovial energy in his presence and in his face dissipated.

Jessica was momentarily taken aback. He very rarely asked her questions like that, especially not lately. Mostly because she was so certain that she maintained a calm and irrevocably in control demeanor at all times.

This day had her slipping.

"I'm perfectly fine." Jessica asserted, trying do etch out the surprise she hoped hadn't displayed itself all over her face. "Why?"

"No, you just seem like you have something on your mind." He explained sincerely.

She hadn't seen him display anything like overt concern in awhile. A chink in his armor. It reminded her of the young man she used to know.

"Well, I have a million things on my mind Harvey." She began in a light tone. "One of which is whether you plan on getting any work done today."

Harvey looked around her office momentarily, almost as if he was checking for something. When his eyes met hers again he offered her a look of reassurance. She seemed marginally unsettled by something and he could tell. It wasn't from him pestering her either. She had quickly become a champion in dealing with that long ago.

"Now you know my work ethic is impeccable." Harvey reasoned, his eyes shining playfully.

"Your win ethic is impeccable." Jessica corrected.

"One begets the other." He contended, his eyes shooting down to the untouched board and back up to her.

"I suppose that's true." She exclaimed, angling her head to one side, her dark hair tumbling loosely over her shoulder. Harvey caught sight of a small diamond hanging from her ear. He refocused his attention on her actions as she distractedly moved a chess piece of her own. Her eyes flicked back up and she saw him assessing her. "Spill it. What did you do?"

Harvey's face gradually lit up as he realized what she was inferring. The familiar lines at the sides of his eyes showed themselves as he chuckled lightly at her accusation. He contemplated a move of his own.

"You really think I'm coming in here with my tail between my legs and subconsciously trying to placate you by playing chess?" He speculated with sarcastic overtures. His facial expression made it clear how silly that idea was.

"Not really your style." She admitted, her eyes narrowed briefly. Of all the times he decided to be a conundrum.

"No not at all." Harvey agreed with a brief shake of his head. He was amused at how stumped she seemed to be.

"Harvey," Jessica let out, half demand half plea.

"Jessica," Harvey answered back, intentionally provoking her with the tone of his voice.

Her glance turned ominously serious. His eyes widened slightly and he rushed to say something before she did.

"I'm just here to check what time we're going for drinks tonight."

Jessica's face turned confused for a second and then it was if she had a moment of recognition.

"So you did do something good? What are we celebrating?" Jessica asked with enthusiasm, news about whatever case he had successfully closed or whatever client he had skillfully charmed would surely brighten her day.

Harvey smiled at her as he thought how rare an occasion it was for her to not comprehend something. She always understood and was one step ahead of everyone, even him. It was fun to play with her and have her be seemingly oblivious. He couldn't really get away with it in any other capacity.

"We aren't celebrating because of my superior skills." He said mildly, watching her face for any hint that she was starting to understand.

Nothing. Her eyebrows knitted briefly as her expression turned back to confusion. He wondered how long he could keep this up. He thought about continuing to go around in circles with her but decided against it. She might strangle him.

"Happy Birthday." Harvey offered sincerely, his eyes absorbing how her face reacted to that statement.

Jessica experienced a sensation in her chest similar to that of being startled or taken by surprise. That was the absolute last thing she had expected him to utter and any response she could pretend to muster was caught in her throat. All she could do was look at him, trying to determine if she had heard him correctly. She was positive she had yet still completely taken with shock at the reality.

"You seem surprised," Harvey evaluated, he was somewhere in between being entertained by her shock and slightly distressed by it at the same time.

It wasn't the apocalypse because he remembered her birthday. He wasn't without a heart, especially when it came to her.

"I just..." She started, her hand went up to fidget with her earring absentmindedly as she tried to regulate all of the unexpected feelings that were starting to form. She shut them down so fast and so hard it almost made her lose her train of thought. "It's nice that you remembered, thank you."

"Of course I remembered," He replied emphatically, his expression soft. "What you think I don't have a heart?"

Jessica shot him an accusatory look that clearly implied that wasn't too far off.

"I have a heart," He reasoned, defending himself. "I just prefer not to use it more than necessary."

"And my birthday is necessary?" Jessica questioned, suddenly incredibly amused by him. His charm always struck her when she didn't expect it.

"You're necessary in general." Harvey shrugged simply.

"I appreciate that, Harvey." She responded, she suddenly felt really grateful to him. "But I'm going to have to decline the drink offer."

"No," He protested, putting his hands up. "No, you're not gonna decline."

"Really," Jessica maintained, her hand flying up in a gesture of dismissal. "It's not a big deal."

"It's your birthday. You can't say no." He exclaimed. "Unless you have other plans."

"Well maybe I do," She posed, leading him just slightly.

"Do you?" Harvey asked directly.

"No," Jessica admitted ruefully. "You're the only one that remembered to tell you the truth."

"Well I'm the only one that matters so it's fitting."

"Just how you like it," Jessica chuckled lightly. "You never did learn how to share, did you? Never mind, Louis can answer that."

"What does he know? You can't share with someone who doesn't know how to play."

"What am I going to do with the two of you?" She wondered aloud.

"That's something to ponder at another time." Harvey assured her as he stood, quickly buttoning his suit jacket. He never got any wrinkles in his clothing when he sat, Jessica had noticed years ago, it was the weirdest thing. Everything about his appearance was always immaculately preserved. She had no idea how he did that. "So that settles that, how's eight o'clock?"

"Eight's fine." She replied as his statement interrupted her thoughts.

"Perfect. It's your birthday so I'm going to see to it that you get absolutely sauced." Harvey proclaimed as he started towards the door.

"I don't get sauced," Jessica objected, putting a particular strain on the last word. It made Harvey smirk involuntarily. "I don't even know what that means."

"Well I'll make sure you find out." Harvey offered as he slipped out of her office.

Jessica sighed as she thought about spending the evening with him. Her birthday evening, no less. She supposed it was better than spending it alone at home, or worse still, in that very office working herself to death. There was always such interesting implications whenever they spent time together outside of the office, especially when it had nothing to do with work. She assumed tonight would be no exception. Harvey, though he was a lot of things, was always undeniably complicated. Even when she had met him all those years ago, one of the very first things that struck her was that there were layers and layers to him. Some she had pulled back and figured out, others stayed firmly placed. He was intriguing. Even though she knew so much about him, more than most people, he was still a mystery to her in a sense.

She thought that maybe that was best. They directly referenced the distinctions between professional and personal all the time. Sometimes as a joke, sometimes to prove a point. But she wondered why, when it came down to it, they both seemed to carefully toe that line.

Well, maybe she had an idea why but truthfully, neither one of them could afford to really find out.

* * *

><p>"I ordered us both single malts." Harvey exclaimed, after she had seated herself across from him at a quiet table in the corner of the restaurant.<p>

"You always order that for me." Jessica responded, slightly amused by the air of familiarity, it was always present, even when she didn't acknowledge it. "It's too strong."

"That's the point," Harvey replied, his eyes digesting the sight of her. He had trained himself long ago to not be distracted by her physically but even still at times he was caught off guard. She was effortlessly staggering. "You always end up drinking half of mine anyways when you order something else."

"That's because you stress me out," Jessica explained evenly, she leaned her wrists delicately against the table as her hands folded.

Harvey let out a chuckle as he brought his drink to his mouth, his eyes still focused on her over the rim of the glass.

"What?" She said, questioning his laughter more than his gaze, but she noted it.

"You can handle it." He reasoned simply with a shrug, referencing both the strength of the liquor and the supposed stress that he caused.

"Don't you think I handle enough?" She pondered as she took a sip from her own glass, the cold fluid burned her throat.

"Further evidence of your ability to do so."

Jessica smiled slightly and shook her head to herself as she studied her drink.

"We haven't done this in awhile." Harvey commented, his hand briefly connected the air between them.

"Hm, it hasn't been that long." Jessica maintained, her eyes meeting his.

"We used to do this all the time." He reminded her.

"I don't know about all the time, but yes..." She went on. "More than we have recently. We both know how busy we are. And I'm sure you get your fair share of me reprimanding you at work."

"Well see that's the thing," Harvey started. "You're less likely to reprimand me outside of the office."

Jessica shot him a look of uncertainty as she sipped her drink.

"Well, it's not completely out of the question but it's a more even playing field when we aren't in the office, a more balanced atmosphere." He explained.

"Careful," She said lightly. "You're starting to sound like you have underlining issues about my position."

"Oh stop it," Harvey replied. "You know I have the utmost respect for your position."

"I know you do." Jessica admitted. She never, at any time, doubted the level of respect he had for her. She was always a hundred percent secure in that. "But I think that's because it's always been this way in some capacity. It wasn't as if it was something you had to get used to."

"So what you're inferring is that, if we rose through the ranks at the same pace, I would've had a hard time at the point where you surpassed me? And thus, became my boss."

"Maybe. You don't think you would?" She asked, studying his face to catch any change of expression.

"No, not at all."

"Your personality would indicate otherwise." She explained. "You're competitive to the point of ad nauseum."

"The only person that I'm in competition with is myself." Harvey stated breezily, leaning back in his seat.

Jessica suddenly noticed how dressed down he was. She was so used to seeing him dressed to the nines in a suit all the time, it surprised her that she hadn't seen it sooner. He was wearing a black dress shirt, no tie with the first couple buttons undone and his sleeves were even rolled up. She hadn't seen him in anything less than a three piece suit for quite some time, but it worked for him; just as the suits did.

"I'm inclined to think that I would like you as much as I do now in this alternate reality." Harvey pondered, interrupting her thoughts.

"Well it stands to reason that you like me as much as you do because of what I did for you. If you take that element away you mightn't like me at all."

"Wait, are you being serious?" He questioned, his face suddenly dead panned and his hand, which held his drink, froze midway to his mouth. "You think my affinity for you is based solely on that?"

"Well not solely, but initially it had something to do with it."

"I was going to say, if you think I didn't like you beyond your proclivity to take a risk on a kid with nothing, I'd say we're sitting here with bigger problems."

"No, I realize other qualities of mine have managed to endear you to me. Though I don't know how, I was positively horrible to you for at least a year."

"Try 20 months." Harvey corrected her as he laughed at the memory.

"There is much to be said about tough love," Jessica explained. "Look at you now."

Silence passed over them as they both sipped their drinks. Jessica was starting to feel the gradual warmth expand in the pit of her stomach. She realized she probably should have eaten something more substantial than half the salad she had earlier. Especially if she was gonna keep up with Harvey. He could drink like a fish when he set his mind to it.

"I was serious about what I said earlier," Harvey began, bringing her attention swiftly back into the present.

"And what was that?" Jessica questioned.

"About us doing this more often," He explained. "I like spending time with you."

"Do me a favor, when the waiter comes back around, remind me to ask him where Harvey Specter is because this man sitting across for me should know that he would never admit to something like that." Jessica proclaimed, her voice thick with staunch inflection.

"You swear I'm like this heartless bastard," He accused, almost more seriously than he had intended as he rolled his eyes. How other people viewed him never mattered to him, they could think he was heartless if they felt so inclined. But how she viewed him, that did matter.

"I'm teasing you, Harvey." She clarified. "I realize that you aren't a heartless bastard. You're just direct. It's one of the things I like about you. You're unflinching. Hell, I'd like to think I had a hand in cultivating that part of you."

"What else do you like about me?" Harvey asked, his tone sounded more serious than the feeling of the prior exchange. His eyes locked onto hers with great accuracy. She suddenly was very aware of every aspect of his presence.

"What kind of question is that?" She wondered aloud, holding his eye contact.

"A direct one."

"I like that you order these," Jessica started, gesturing to her glass as she finished it. "Even though they're strong. I need another."

Jessica's attention left the table as her eyes went in search of the waiter. Harvey wondered if he had overstepped. Sometimes he had no comprehension on how to broach certain topics with her. She still made him nervous after all these years. He racked his mind for neutral conversation topics.

"I don't think Louis should be on the Blythe Harrington case." He offered.

"That's funny," Jessica began as she looked back at him. The waiter had gone away to make them another round. "I don't recall having asked your opinion on the matter."

"I'm being serious, Jessica. You really think he can handle it?"

"I do, or else I wouldn't have given it to him." She affirmed. "But the better question is why don't you think he can?"

"Because Louis is lame." Harvey stated, matter-of-factly. The way that he said it almost brought a slight smile to her face. Sometimes his immaturity on the subject of Louis frustrated her, other times it was hilarious.

"Lame, Harvey?" She questioned. "Really? Don't be myopic. That's the best that your eloquent mouth could come up with?"

"I just don't like him." He replied simply. Even less of a persuasive statement, he realized.

"So what?" Jessica exclaimed. "You don't have to like him. You have to work with him. You have to consult with him and not even that often, might I add. I'm sure there are plenty of people that you don't necessarily like that you can manage to share space with in a professional sense without someone's feelings getting hurt."

The waiter was back with their drinks.

"And that's one of the things that I don't like about him," Harvey pointed out, taking an immediate sip of his drink. "He always runs to you and tattles, like a little kid. He wants you to be upset with me because he's mad that you prefer me to him."

"Who says I prefer you?" Jessica asked. She knew it was a silly question but it just slipped out. The way those statements sometimes do when someone is protesting about something that is absolutely true.

"Every single person at that firm knows that you prefer me to anyone, especially him." He exclaimed.

"Well that may be true but he happens to possess strengths that you do not, Harvey."

"Are you serious?" He questioned. "Okay, name one strength that he has that I don't possess. Just one."

"The ability to listen to me, and follow directions." She offered up before he had even gotten his sentence all the way out.

"I listen to you... mostly." Harvey lamented. She raised her eyebrows at him as she took a long sip of her beverage.

"That mostly can get you into trouble."

"I follow directions 98 percent of the time." He reasoned sincerely.

"And what am I supposed to do with that other 2 percent? Have blind faith that whatever it is that you're doing doesn't come back to bite you? Or rather, me?"

"You know I would never do anything to make you look bad." Harvey claimed evenly. The conviction in his voice was apparent. She wondered if it was just her imagination but her drink was diminishing at a fast rate.

"I know you wouldn't on purpose. Not intentionally, no. But you can be so stubborn."

"Being stubborn is a positive trait for a lawyer." He reasoned.

"And you have moments where you are absolutely egomaniacal."

"Name a lawyer who doesn't have a sizable ego, you included."

Jessica sighed but said nothing. She swiftly finished off her drink. Sometimes he had these moments where he was an absolutely impenetrable being. Sometimes he was all eagerness and acceptance. It just depended.

"I don't want to talk about work anymore." Jessica exclaimed as she looked up at him.

"Fine let's not talk about work." Harvey agreed. "What do you want to talk about? You wanna talk about how you're giving me a run for my money on which one of us can drink a single malt the fastest?"

He gestured to the waiter who was within eye sight to bring them two more.

"It's your birthday," He said evenly. "So let's talk about you."

Jessica's hand found it's way to the side of her face, her chin slightly resting in her palm as she narrowed her eyes at him briefly. She could definitely feel a buzz creeping.

"What about me?"

"I know, please forgive me." Harvey elaborated. "You're such a multifaceted entity I'll have to be more specific."

His statement was like a tease and the truth all wrapped up in a pretty bow. She didn't even have anything to contend it with.

"Go anywhere interesting lately? Seeing anyone special?" Harvey lingered on the last question. Purposely illustrating focus on it.

"You wanna know if I'm dating someone?" Jessica clarified. Why was he being so highly unpredictable?

"No. No I don't." He responded. "But I would want to know if you decided to marry said person."

The waiter brought their drinks and she waited a beat after he had left their table to reply.

"Oh you don't do passive aggressive well, Harvey. It doesn't look good on you." She exclaimed wryly. "Let me ask you a question."

"I thought we were talking about you?" He surmised, his eyebrow arching slightly. He took a sip of his drink and waited for her to continue.

"The question is about me," She explained, subconsciously gathering her hair at the back of her neck, twisting it haphazardly around her fingers and letting it fall over one shoulder. Anytime she did something subtle like that he would be momentarily distracted. "So it's pertinent."

"I'm listening," He responded as he cleared his throat.

"Why does it bother you so much that you didn't know I was married?"

"Because that's generally something that other people would share." Harvey explained. He was befuddled by the fact that she didn't understand why he would want to know. "Example: I know which partners are married and which aren't. It's just common personal knowledge that colleagues that work in the same vicinity share."

"You were at Harvard," Jessica replied. "Doing God knows what, not caring about most things, let alone if I was married or not. We weren't colleagues. I was a pain in your ass and you were one in mine."

"It's just fodder for small talk," He remarked, completely failing to address her statement. "It's like the "How're your grandkids, Harold?" or the "Becky, how was your trip to Belize?" remarks that float around before a board meeting."

"Harvey, you've never in your life participated in that sort of inconsequential dialogue." Jessica protested, she almost laughed at the mere mention. "You've never cared to."

"Well, I would have cared." He said as he took a sip of his scotch. "And I would have asked about your husband if I knew you had one."

She could have sworn she detected a hint of jealousy. She wasn't completely certain that it wasn't just in her mind, or it wasn't the alcohol that was making her misinterpret things. She hadn't had that much to drink already, had she? The look on his face seemed neutral.

"It wasn't important. And it's even less important now because it's no longer relevant."

"It must not have been," He replied loosely, his eyes zeroing in on her hand. "You never even wore a wedding ring."

"How would you know if I wore a ring or not?" She accused. "I did wear one."

"Jessica, no you didn't." Harvey maintained, his eyes looking back up at her face. He knew she was lying not because her face gave her away, it absolutely did not, but because he would have noticed a ring. "The fact that I mentioned it means that I would have noticed if you had."

"You can't notice everything, Harvey." She replied.

"I'm very observant." He assured her.

"This whole thing makes you sound selfish." Jessica admitted, her face looked rather thoughtful, making her remark come out as less of an insult. She distractedly tapped her fingers against the side of her glass. She was trying to pace herself more than she had been earlier.

"Selfish?" Harvey exclaimed, the surprise in his voice was hard to miss. "How in the world does it make me sound selfish?"

"You just sound like the kid who didn't get invited to the party," She minimized the topic completely. "The wedding was small, Harvey. It wasn't a grand affair, I can assure you. You didn't miss much."

"Now you're being evasive." Harvey countered. "Clever."

Jessica suddenly had this bizarre notion of what they must look like to the other patrons at that restaurant. They sometimes had this unique propensity to banter but she felt as though they must resemble that couple that can't stop squabbling for longer than two seconds. She wondered why they both seemed to allow the other to get so far under their skin. They were indeed masterful at letting most things roll off their back having refined that skill over the years in their line of work. But with each other it seemed all bets were off. She wanted to change the subject.

"Let's talk about you, Harvey Specter." Jessica began, shifting the entire energy of the conversation. "Why haven't you gotten married to one of those nice, suitable, intelligent girls you spend so much of what little time you do have on?"

"Now, you're being facetious."

"Oh, you are observant." Jessica kidded, as she took a long swig of her drink.

"You are a frustrating individual." He distinguished as he finished his.

He could feel the liquor coursing through his veins. It's funny how alcohol always magnified situations, circumstances and feelings. Especially if those feelings had never really been dealt with or deciphered. Especially still when they spanned years and years. And were coupled with other more distinct and appropriate feelings. Like loyalty, admiration, reverence.

Were they just being confused? Or were they actually viable on there own?

"I don't know what you're talking about, I'm delightful." She responded with a small smile.

"Do you think you and I are alike?" Harvey wondered aloud. He wanted another drink but thought it better if he waited a few moments.

"Oh absolutely." She answered without hesitation. She had always thought that they were incredibly similar. "I think that there are definitely traits that we have in common. Traits that have helped get us to where we're at."

"Yeah, I think so too."

"What do you think I saw in you all those years ago?" Jessica questioned sincerely. "Sure I saw your potential and your sarcasm. I saw your brain. I saw things about you that weren't necessarily positive. Things you had no problem showing. And then I saw things that I definitely recognized in myself. I didn't know one person could be so full of everything and have absolutely no idea."

Harvey wished he had something to say in response to those words but he faltered. He didn't have the capacity in that moment to tell her how much hearing something like that from her meant to him. No matter how much success or notoriety he attained, having even her basic approval meant more to him than he could really convey or properly deal with. He valued and respected her to such a degree that he sometimes didn't know if it would cease or subside or if it had morphed itself into something more impulsive and potentially detrimental against his own volition.

To say that he was awed by her was an understatement. She was like a wonderment to him. She still intimidated and even scared him at times. In other moments, like just then, she was so sweet. He often felt this indescribable draw towards her, even in the face of disagreements or when she told him to do something he really didn't want to do. He cared so deeply for her for a myriad of reasons. Sometimes, even recently, she surprised him and added to that list unconsciously. She was this strong, brilliant, enigmatic, gorgeous force of a woman and it completely overwhelmed him.

"We didn't even say cheers," Harvey proclaimed, low under his breath. He was staring at his empty class as he gradually moved it until it was against hers. "Before we started drinking. I should have given you a birthday toast."

"There's still time," Jessica reasoned lightly as she studied him, he seemed deep in thought and almost despondent. It was like she complimented him and he had the opposite reaction that she had expected. "We just need another drink."

So they ordered another drink and while they waited he brought up random thoughts that were trickling through his memory about years and years ago. It touched Jessica that he seemed to remember minor details of the beginnings of their relationship with such great precision. Harvey's less than finer moments seemed to be humorous and incidental in retrospect. It almost stunned her in the midst of their reminiscing that the boy that he had been turned into the man he was now. She felt this profound sense of pride that she had so much to do with the person he had become. Even when he was being stubborn and driving her crazy he really did turn out better than alright. And even when they were at odds she absolutely adored him.

The waiter came back with their drinks and Harvey silently pondered what his toast would entail. He wanted to say something meaningful yet brief. He didn't want to necessarily come off as agonizingly heartfelt and confused as he felt in that moment. He held up his glass, silently studying the amber liquid inside and tried to focus.

"To you, Jessica Pearson." Harvey began, meeting her eyes and tilting his glass towards hers, tapping it. "To the woman who made me the man that I am."

His words so fleeting, yet so powerful she felt knocked back a little bit. She couldn't even immediately bring her drink to her mouth. She was rendered motionless. All she could do was look at him and feel an abnormal sensation in her chest. She felt certain that she wouldn't be as effected by his words if she had been completely sober but it was too late for that. Seemingly against her own better judgment she reached for his hand, her fingers loosely latching onto his, holding motionless for a second before gently squeezing. Silence played a song enveloping them into this moment for which neither one of them could name.

Jessica released his hand and let it retreat slowly back to her glass, before it reached it's intended destination, Harvey reached out and recaptured it before he even realized his intention. The continuing silence started bouncing off the table and the window nearby. The silence was expansive and it was full of so much honesty and uncertainty. Harvey turned her hand just barely and fingered the bracelet she had on at the part that laid against her inner wrist. The care he took in that simple gesture was so painstakingly clear that it made her heart ache from the intimate undertones.

"I like this," Harvey said lightly, referring to the bracelet.

"Yeah, I do too. It's really nice." Jessica replied, the barely there touch of his fingertips against the inside of her wrist was infinitely distracting.

"I thought of you right away when I first saw it." He admitted, his eyes leaving the bracelet and scanning her face.

Jessica thought she had misheard him. But the way in which he was looking at her made her feel like he was trying to assess her reaction to what he had revealed. But she couldn't reconcile what he had just told her to be part of some truth that she had been completely oblivious to.

"You thought of me?" She questioned, still trying to wrap her brain around the enormity of what he was telling her. "You..."

Harvey could see the formations of recognition start to display on her face. He watched her eagerly, almost the way someone throwing a surprise party lives for the look on the surprised person's face.

"You," Jessica assessed, her understanding starting to expand further. "The box on my desk... with this bracelet in it. You..."

"I'm glad you liked it enough to wear it tonight."

"I don't even know what to say."

"I'm sorry, what?" Harvey kidded. "Could you maybe repeat that for me?"

"Really, I'm literally void of a way to assess what I should even say right now. I can't... I can't believe you bought this for me." Jessica responded, feeling absolutely bewildered at this simple and kind and subtle display.

"It looked like something you would wear." He admitted, his hand still on her wrist.

"It's beautiful, Harvey. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Oh my goodness, why didn't you say anything until now?" She proclaimed, suddenly realizing he had gone the entire day and almost the entire night without even bringing it up.

"I mentioned it eventually, didn't I?" He pointed out, so amused by her varying expressions. He absolutely lived for how confused, surprised and happy she seemed in that moment.

"And there wasn't even a card attached to it, I found that so odd."

"I thought about a card but I wasn't sure what to say." He explained, chuckling at her trying to put the pieces together. Her baffled demeanor was thoroughly entertaining.

"I can't believe you really got me this." Jessica admitted. It wasn't as if he had never gotten her anything over the years. He had gotten her silly, small things. Little trinkets, but this... This was a whole different animal. It was just her taste and style. Him knowing her well enough to get her something like that was exemplary. Once the surprise started to subside, the gravity of the gesture seemed considerable. "You didn't have to do this."

"I know I didn't," Harvey reassured her. "I wanted to."

"It means a lot." She revealed simply.

"Don't mention it." He responded, downplaying the whole thing briefly. Jessica realized their hands were still connected and pulled hers back. Acting as if she needed it to facilitate her taking a sip from her drink.

There was that silence again. Harvey, though still engaged in her company seemed to be in thought somehow. The transition happened rather quickly but she could definitely tell he had something of heavy consequence on his mind.

"What are you thinking about?" Jessica questioned. She was curious.

"Hm, oh nothing." Harvey responded, his face automatically losing it's prior expression. That was the thing about dealing with her because she was an equally if not more equipped attorney. She read him just as swiftly and quickly as he read her.

"Uh uh, I don't think so." She countered. "Spill it."

Harvey took a long swig from his glass, only further perpetuating the current state of intoxication he found himself in. He was debating on whether he should even bring this up. It had been years. He watched her as he leaned back in his seat.

"I was thinking about six years ago." He began, having a strange feeling he might regret it. But what the hell? "In your office."

"You're going to have to be more specific than that," She laughed, gently rubbing her forehead. "My memory seems to be a little fuzzy currently."

"Alright, well... we were working on that case for Turner Dayton." Harvey began, he could probably recall that entire night by memory. "I was going through the bylaws myself because you made me. It was after 1 in the morning..."

"Oh God." Jessica cut him off swiftly muttering under her breath. The memories of that night suddenly hit her square in the face. She was too drunk for this conversation. "Why are you thinking about that?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" He responded.

"Harvey, stop." She replied. "That was such a long time ago."

Those memories were passing through her mind like a slide show at an alarming rate. They had been drinking that night, which she would have never approved of normally but they were both exhausted, she was stressed and he was complaining. Somehow the details of what had lead up to that moment and how they had even wound up in the same personal space were unclear.

But he had kissed her. And she had let him, the worst part for her was that she had actively participated in the exchange for 5 agonizingly electrifying seconds before she remembered where and who she was. She than promptly dismissed it and told him not to speak about it again. Harvey had been somewhere between terrified for his life and immensely more interested in her. He pretty much walked on egg shells around her for an entire month, thinking that any wrong move would get him fired. He casually referenced it about 10 months later to which she downplayed the whole thing like it had never occurred.

If he was being truthful with himself he didn't think about that moment all the time. It had been awhile ago, but there were times when he recalled it on purpose and other times when it would side swipe him without warning. It would always make him think about her, about them and that what if.

"Put it out of your mind Harvey," Jessica instructed lowly. She was not in the right state of consciousness to even be attempting to have this conversation with him. That was probably the first, last and only time she had succumbed to a weakness involving him. It had honestly scared her because in that moment she was completely vulnerable.

"If only it was that easy, Jessica." Harvey countered.

"It is," She responded. "It was a long time ago. Thankfully we were able to move past it without it hindering anything."

"Tell me you've never thought 'what if?'" Harvey questioned, the tone in his voice was too forthcoming. Jessica desperately wished she hadn't drank as much as she had. She honestly felt like she couldn't deal with him and this right now.

His eyes were too deep, his jaw was too taut, his being was too encompassing. And that damn shirt he had on.

"What if what, Harvey? We couldn't go there. It would have ruined everything."

"You don't know that." Harvey replied sternly.

"I do."

"No, you don't. You can't sit here and say with unequivocal certainty that it would have ruined anything because you don't know."

"And I wasn't trying to find out." She responded. They needed to stop talking about this.

"And what about now?" Harvey propositioned. Somehow his cocky bravado always showed up at the best and worst times.

"Let's be serious for a second," Jessica began, trying to gather her thoughts, words, and resistance. "We would be a nightmare together. Our personalities are too strong. We're too driven. Stubborn."

"I like all those things about you." He maintained. Jessica took a deep breath and looked away from him.

"I'm just the representation of something, that's all." Jessica exclaimed, trivializing the exchange.

"And what would that be?"

"I'm just a woman you haven't conquered," Jessica said plainly, looking him directly in the eyes. "Not that you've had to even try to conquer many."

"You're much more than that."

"You just want what you can't have."

"Maybe," Harvey lamented lightly. Jessica felt an involuntary wave of sadness. "But maybe if I got what I want, I'd still want it."

Jessica didn't reply, she honestly didn't have words for any of it anymore. But she felt herself on some precipice that she didn't need to be anywhere near. She couldn't deny that hearing him talk like that was thrilling to her. She was tempted, yes. But she couldn't trust herself. The greater, sound part of her knew that if they did more than flirt with the idea of what he was suggesting it would probably be a catastrophe. There were two many variables. Too many ways it could collapse.

"We should not be talking about this at all, let alone after we've been drinking."

"You're probably right." He admitted.

"I'm usually right, Harvey."

Harvey didn't say any more. Mostly because he didn't want to divulge more than he already so freely had. She had prompted him, yes. But he was also drunk and realized the implications of continuing this conversation in their current state. So he changed the subject. She was graceful and allowed it. But the rest of the night there was a sense of obscurity in the air. Both of them noticed it but couldn't really address it.

It was noticeable in how closely they walked beside each other outside of the restaurant. How their hug goodbye lasted a few seconds longer than necessary and how Harvey actually watched the cab she got into until it was out of sight before getting into his own. He smiled to himself and hung his head as he thought about how strange their relationship must seem to outsiders. It was a complex thing. He figured they probably wouldn't revisit that discussion for another 10 months or maybe even 3 years.

But no matter how much time passed, they didn't really change. They just got better.


End file.
